Gaining Trust With My Body

Here is a little insight into some of the personal development activities I am partaking in. I began listening to Meg and Victoria’s podcast “Nourishing Women's Podcast” a month or so ago, and it changed my mindset so much (in a positive way of course!). I wanted to share some entries I made from reading the E-book, and also a reflection at the end of some of my own journaling outside of the E-book. 

I will share the links of Meg and Victoria’s blogs down below, as well as their Instagrams. They are incredibly beautiful and inspiring individuals, and I highly suggest you check them out if you haven’t already! 

I hope this resonates with someone, and shows some of the raw writing I do when handling my own thoughts and intentions. 

Enjoy! <3 

Entry 1: Have you been using societal ideals as a measurement of your own self worth?

I have most definitely succumbed to societal expectations and what society deems as beautiful. 

Since beginning high school back in Arizona, the “perfect” body image was presented to me as a stick skinny girl with perfectly flat abs and airbrushed tan skin. This was my ideal body. This led to my shame and body-hatred. 

It is hard for me to not think that skinny is the ideal body - it is truly ingrained in my mind. Every day when I am changing I do a “body check” in the mirror. I look at my thighs, my stomach, how bloated I am, if I have a muffin top, and, of course, if I have gained weight or not. 

I still do this every day. It is hard for me to change into clothes without a mirror. It is hard for me to change in front of my boyfriend. I want to be “skinny” for him. 

He does not see a single thing wrong with me, which does not make any sense to me. Doesn’t he see the size of my thighs? My bloat every night? How is this even remotely beautiful to him? 

Everyday is a process, and I am working on loving my thighs, my curves, and even my bloat (yay IBS). I have to remember this thought was ingrained in me at a young age, but it can be reversed. I can start to see the beauty in other body types and sizes, not only the fit model bodies that I am used to. 

I know that I should love my body without any validation from others. I have one body, and one life, and I need to appreciate that. I have an amazing body that does so much for me, it is time to give it the love and respect it has deserved these past seven years. 

My Own Reflection:

Our bodies do SO much for us. Why would I take away from that by saying such harsh words to it?

Some examples of the harsh words: “You’re not skinny enough.” or “You shouldn’t be curvy there.” 

How about, “You let me breathe and move without thinking about it,” “You digest the food I eat so I can eat again,” or “You let me feel joy and peace.” 

It’s time to make a change to my vernacular. It’s time to make a change to what I guide my attention towards. Now, this does not mean I won’t have bad days, because I most definitely will, but it’s how I handle the “bad days” or “bad thoughts.” Because thoughts are just thoughts. They are meant to come and go as they please. However, as humans, we take these thoughts to heart, we let them manifest and become our realities until they consume our well-being and actions we take. 

It’s time to allow our minds to think as they please, and be thankful for every single thought we have. We have the ability to be perceptive and introspective as human beings, and that is such a blessing and such a beautiful thing. After all, these thoughts are just thoughts, nothing else. Becoming mindful of what thoughts will aid in your personal development and which ones won’t takes work and progress, but I truly believe every single person has the capability of doing so. 

As a result, I know I am completely capable of doing this with my own thoughts, and I am specifically talking about how I feel about my body. The thoughts I have when I look at my body in the mirror, such as “this should be flat” or “this shouldn’t be this big” will start to fade. Because they are just THOUGHTS. Nothing else. The thoughts are powerless unless YOU take them seriously and start criticizing or harming yourself. It is time to balance out those thoughts with affirmations. So instead of “I want my stomach to be flat,” I say, “I am so happy my stomach digests my food for me” or “I love the way I look in these clothes.” It’s a small step that will make a huge impact if applied and worked on every single day. 

It’s a difficult concept to start implementing into our lives, but one that is so vital for our mental health. I truly believe it is a way of thinking that allows individuals to live happy, healthy and meaningful lives. 

Leaving with some positive words:

I love my body. 

I love my heritage. 

I love my curves. 

I love my imperfections. 

My imperfections make who I am who I am. 

I am me with my imperfections. 

My imperfections are perfections. 

Katelyn Wilensky